


Born To Be Yours

by LPSunnyBunny, Overandout



Series: Born To Be Yours Collection [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: But fucks up a lot because he has no tools, Dirk is trying to be a good Guardian, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, POV Alternating, Rejection, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Spiraling Behavior, Suicidal Thoughts, sex as a coping mechanism, unhealthy behaviors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:41:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overandout/pseuds/Overandout
Summary: Everyone is born with a mark on them somewhere. It reflects some facet of their person- and their soulmate's, of which everyone has only one. Dave's spent all sixteen years of his life so far dreaming about meeting his- unknowing that they've been at his side this whole time.Also Feat. JohnDave friends with benefits
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider, John Egbert & Dave Strider
Series: Born To Be Yours Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827550
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Born To Be Yours

Dirk was good with his hands. Bro always said it. He always did the odd fix-it jobs around the apartment that Bro couldn't be assed to do, which helped kick start his interest in how things worked, which eventually landed him with his current gig of free lance computer rig builder. With a side in robotics. Which, in turn, helped him and Dave leave the hell that was Bro's apartment as soon as he turned 18.

Dave wasn't too far behind him at 16, but enough of a difference that Dirk remembered taking care of him before he himself could form proper sentences. Because being good with his hands meant being good with a baby and anything was better than Bro.

He said that, but Bro was trying, now that they had left. Part of Dirk said too little too late, but part of him craved that connection to a guardian.

Bro wasn't what concerned him, though. No, what concerned him was Dave.

Dirk splashes water in his face as though to cleanse the thoughts he knew he shouldn't have, then dries his hands and stares at them for a few moments before slipping on his gloves. On his hand was a mark, which wasn't unusual. Just about everyone had a mark, and whoever had a matching one was your soulmate. Dave had one at the base of his neck. A red bird skewered with an orange sword, framed by violets. He loved it and always made sure there was a mirror set up for him to check it out as often as he pleased.

Dirk sighs as he tugs his gloves on, covering his own skewered red bird, then went to wake Dave up for school.

Dirk was good with his hands, but his right hand was not good for him.

Dave is pretty fucking happy with how his life is shaping up.

Not too long ago, Dirk turned 18. That day, Dirk came to his room, had Dave pack his shit, and they got the fuck outta dodge.

Now here they are, on their own apartment, with Dirk working to support them, and things have never been easier. No strifing, no fucking swords in the fridge, an actual lock on his door- Dave hasn't ever been this relaxed before. This... _at peace_.

Not even joking- everything's been on an upswing. Hell, even his _grades_ have improved.

At this rate, maybe Dave will even meet his soulmate.

It feels childish, to be excited over the idea, but- Dave can't help it. His soulmate is probably someone _incredible_. Just the thought of them makes him giddy- his soulmark tattoo is

_ so _

_ fucking _

**_ cool _ ** _. _

He loves looking at it, loves touching it and thinking about what it might represent. Beautiful violet flowers twining up around the edges of a red bird mid-flight, skwered through the middle by an orange sword. Dave spends so much time daydreaming about what they might be like, sketching pictures of it over and over.

Maybe she'll be calm and rational and always collected until Dave is able to make her crack a smile with his jokes. Or maybe she'll be short enough that he can drape his around her neck, pick her up and carry her as she shrieks with laugher.

Or maybe... Dave flushes a little as his mind slips elsewhere. Maybe... his soulmate... would be someone with rougher hands. Broader shoulders. Less... _female_.

He buries his face in his pillows as his mind strays, feeling the back of his neck heat up, and reaches a hand back to brush his fingers over his mark, right at the base of his neck, and grins to himself into the pillows.

He should probably get up, but- he doesn't have to worry, because Dirk will just get him up. He doesn't need to worry about morning strifes anymore.

Dirk knocks on Dave's door. "Up and at 'em, dude," he says, then without waiting for a response, heads to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

They were both fairly light sleepers, one of the 'perks' of having grown up with Bro, so if his knock didn't wake Dave up, the smell of bacon and eggs would.

Dirk liked this, the calm domesticity of seeing his brother off to school, it taking care of him. Dave seemed to like it, too, or else he just loved being away from Bro. Dirk would take it either way.

He plates up the food and sets them on the dining table, then sits down and begins to dig into his own plate while he waits for Dave.

Dirk knocks on his door and Dave raises his head, squinting in it's direction, then at his clock.

Yeah, time to get up. Dirk usually only comes and wakes him if he's not up after a specific time and it has most certainly hit that time.

So reluctantly Dave slides out of bed and gets to his feet, cracking a yawn. Habitually, his hand rubs over his neck and slides down to touch his mark.

His mind wanders as he gets dressed and goes to brush his teeth, thinking about Dirk. His older brother- Dirk, not Bro, he means- is so... _steady_. Reliable. He's just always there for Dave, doing his best to protect and keep Dave safe. Even from Bro. _Especially_ from Bro.

He pushes those thoughts away as he leaves the bathroom to go to the kitchen and join Dirk for breakfast.

"Shit, dude, looks real fucking good." Dave says, plopping down into his seat and picking up his fork. "So, what're you up to today?"

Dirk hears Dave make his way to the bathroom and slows his eating so he has an excuse to sit at the table longer while Dave eats. He watches his brother from behind his shades as he sits down at the table. Not that there's anything to be quite so watchful _for_ anymore. But habits are hard to break.

"Damn right it looks good. I'm a fantastic fucking cook," Dirk says, smirking. "I've got a couple of projects. A laptop that needs beefed up, a desktop for a newbie with too much money, the usual. Got an extra tip from the last job, so we can grab some takeout for dinner. Unless you have other plans...?"

Just because Dirk had no social life outside of his brother didn't mean Dave was the same. Plus, maybe if Dave had the chance to go out and really hit it off with someone, his own mark could... transfer or something? He had never heard of that, but he had also never heard of sibling soulmates, so there was a chance Dave could have a normal life, right?

His stomach twists at the thought, and he shovels more food in his mouth as though that will help somehow. He hopes Dave doesn't have any plans.

Dave taps his fork for a moment on his lips as he thinks. "Not really." He settles on. "John wants to hang this weekend, which, seeing as I've blown him off last couple of times I should _probably_ go and suffer through yet another of his horrendous choices in movie taste," he says with a snicker, "but nah, not really anything other than that."

He's got an English essay to finish and way too much physics homework to do, but honestly- Dave'll shove it off as much as he wants, cause spending time with Dirk is one of his _favorite_ things to do.

Before, Dave didn't really get much of a chance, with how... everything was. He loved Dirk, of course, but there was a weird... gap. Dirk somehow both his protector and big brother but also a complete stranger.

But now that they're on their own, things have shifted, like Dirk is finally allowing his walls down, and oh man is Dave happy about that. Dirk is the coolest fucking guy Dave knows and Dave will grab any damn shred of _knowing_ that Dirk will offer.

Dirk snorts at the mention of John's movies. He had slept over a couple of times, so Dirk's been subjected to it as well, but Dave and John seemed to have as much fun bickering about whether the movie was good as they had watching the actual movie.

He gives a silent cheer when Dave says he's free, though. Now that they were free of Bro, he was really trying to get to know Dave more. Scratch that. He was _desperate_ to get to know Dave more, now that they weren't focused on just surviving. Now that he didn't have Bro's knowing, disapproving look every time he so much as glanced Dave's way.

Because of course Bro knew. Bro gave him his first set of gloves, the second he saw the mark on Dave's back. Bro was a lot of terrible things, but Dirk agreed with him about one thing: Dave could never know. The older Dave got, the more certain Dirk was. The dude was so excited to find his soulmate, and knowing it was his own brother would _crush_ him. And that would crush Dirk.

Bro knew that, too. Another reason to leave before he decided to make some snide remark about it to hurt Dirk. To hurt Dave.

Dirk focuses back on the present. "Well, since you're going to suffer so much this weekend, I'll let you pick out what movie we watch. Or what game to play, if you'd prefer. I'm still picking food, though, since you're going to be spoiled rotten with Mr. Egbert's cooking. Indian, because I'm craving chicken saag something fierce."

Dirk glances at the clock on the wall. Almost time for Dave to leave. Always too soon and not soon enough. But at least he has tonight to look forward to, now.

"Fuck yeah." Dave says before downing the last of his apple juice. Sweet, sweet apple juice, nectar of the gods. Dirk truly blesses him every morning by making sure he gets a glass. "Get me some of that really fucking good curry that you got last time. But spicier."

Dave doesn't know what it is about spice, but he fucking loves the shit. The burning-his-mouth-out taste is so fucking good, no matter how much it makes him cry and chug milk.

Does that make him masochistic? Hm. Okay, maybe a little? Whatever, it's not like it really _matters_.

His tastebud'll probably be dead by the time he's twenty five from killing them with spice overload but- no regrets.

"I hope you're ready for something dumb tonight." Dave continues cheerfully, forking the last bite of eggs into his mouth and swallowing it down. "I've been in a real 'shitty movies from the 80s' mood for some reason."

He catches Dirk's glance towards the clock, of course, but says nothing, because he likes to push his leaving off until the very last possible moment.

Dirk struggles to hide a genuine smile at Dave just being... Dave. Somehow he never got quite as infected with the whole "Striders are aloof and never show excitement" bullshit Dirk got from Bro, and he was thankful for it.

"Just don't come crying to me when your stomach rebels. You're bringing this on yourself." He chuckles at the desire to watch shitty 80s movies. "You're going over to John's this weekend to watch shitty movies, and you want to start that off by watching shitty movies at home? You do you, kid."

He finishes eating and rinses out his plate, then rustles Dave's hair. "Best head out. Don't want you to be late. You know some of those jackass teachers are just _looking_ for an excuse to throw a fit about us living by ourselves."

Some of them understood. Some of them had tried to interfere when they were with Bro. Some of them were thankful to see the bruises fade and the cuts heal over.

Others were real fucking dicks that cared more about propriety than kids.

Dirk chuckles and Dave barely holds back the grin of delight. His brother is so _serious_ that just hearing him do something as simple as _laugh_ feels like a major victory.

"Hey, there's a big difference between _my_ taste, which is picking shitty movies on purpose, and _John's_ taste, which is picking shitty movies and insisting their masterpieces." Dave shoots back as Dirk ruffles his hair, preening a little under the touch, enjoying the warmth that slides down his spine like honey.

Fuck, Dave loves it when Dirk touches him. Not in _that_ way, just- getting to feel his brother's contact, a steady reassurance that Dirk's still here, still with him.

(Okay.. maybe a little bit in _that_ way too, but- Dave's not thinking about that right now.)

He scoops up his plate and brings it over to the sink to rinse his with a nod.

"Yeah, I got it." Dave says and hesitates for a moment. It's... a bit of a tossup if Dirk will hug him goodbye or not. Some mornings he doesn't have an issue, others it's like he can barely stand any touch at all.

Well, Dirk _did_ ruffle his hair, so- Dave steps over and gives Dirk a tight hug.

Dirk freezes at Dave's hug, then hugs back, maybe a bit too stiffly. He wasn't... great at hugs. Bro didn't really raise them to be great at hugs, but Dave never did take after Bro as much as Dirk did. Dirk wanted to be good at hugs, but he always was afraid he'd seem a little _too_ into them, so he held back most days, as much as he hated to.

So that's what Dave gets, an overly stiff hug and a soft, "Have a good day, Dave," as he ushers his brother out the door and off to school.

Dirk leans his head against the door after he closes it behind his brother. Being out from under Bro was so good in almost every way, but terrible in that there was no longer anyone keeping Dirk in check. Reminding him that his mark was a shame to hide, that his _feelings_ were a shame to hide. That if he didn't watch himself, he could be worse than Bro in a totally different way. Part of him almost wants to call Bro, to get that kick in the ass to keep him in line, but he can't let Bro have that sort of power over him.

He moves away from the door and gets started on his freelance work, pouring his attention into the best distraction he knows, and waits for Dave to be done with school.

Dave doesn't push it- Dirk hugs him back and wishes him well and ushers him out the door, so Dave lets himself get lovingly nudged off to school, grabbing his bag on the way out the door.

God. Dave loves his brother so much. Dirk's probably the best person in the entire world and he's _Dave's brother_. How fucking awesome is that.

School is- well, it's school. Some kids date around outside of their soulmates to "get experience" or to "rebel against the system", but- Dave can't help but be a romantic. He wants his first time to be with his soulmate.

He's seen how happy the kids who find their soulmates in highschool are- hell, Rose and Kanaya are the perfect example of soulmates who meet each other and just _click_. They met each other, saw their soul marks, and three days later they're dating and the picture-perfect couple.

Dave wants that. He knows at this point basically everyone around him has seen his soul mark, so if his soulmate is in this school, they would have found him by now.

Maybe he should start looking into more meet-greets or speed dating? He can't until he's 18, for liability reasons, but- he's gotta meet as many people as possible, how else is he going to find his soulmate?

There's always a flutter of nervousness, of course, because- what if Dirk doesn't like Dave's soulmate? Dave's soulmate is- well, his _soulmate_ , but Dirk... Dirk is his _brother_.

Dave doesn't even want to think about having to pick between the two. Every time he contemplates the thought, his belly goes squirmy and uncomfortable.

The universe wouldn't give him someone that Dirk would hate... right?

Dave pushes the thought away. He doesn't want to think about it.

School goes by, a boring slog as usual, only brightened up by the presence of his friends. He agrees to hang out with John, trades vaguely-sexual jabs with Rose, and lets Jade talk his ear off about whatever new furry ("It's not furry!!!!") show she's into this time.

But, eventually, it's over and he gets to go back home. So he does, pushing the door open and jokingly calling, " _Tadaima~_ " to tease his brother about his weebish nature.

Dirk lets himself smile before smoothing out his face and exiting his room. God he loves Dave. Sometimes he feels his chest will burst from the weight of it.

"I put the order in a few minutes ago, so it should be here in 30," he says, wiggling the phone in his hand for emphasis. "Also got enough done today that I don't have to play catch up tonight, so I'm all yours."

He pauses, blinks in surprise at his own word choice (that's a normal thing to say, right? god why does he have to overthink everything), then shakes his head. "How was school?"

Dave grins. "Hell yeah." He drops his backpack next to the door. It's not often that he gets to spend the _whole evening_ with Dirk, so his homework absolutely can wait. "Same old, same old." He says, wandering over to the couch and dropping himself dramatically down onto it, letting his legs hang over the arm. "You know, John being a dork, Rose and Kanaya being as enviously perfect of a couple _as always-_ " he heaves a mock sigh, but honestly he is jealous of how easy they seem to have it.

And, you know, the fact that they're soulmates.

The thought from earlier returns. Dave stares at the ceiling for a moment before asking, "Hey, Dirk? Stupid question, but- what if you don't like my soulmate?"

Even as the question left his mouth, he winced. It sounded so... _whiney_.

Dirk sits on the couch with Dave, smirking at his refusal to sit on it properly.

His heart clenches when he mentions Rose and Kanaya with that tinge of jealousy he plays off mockingly, and Dirk lets him sit in silence for a few moments.

Then, like Dirk feared, the topic travels to his own soulmate.

Dirk wants to laugh at the question. Does he like Dave's soulmate? Some days yes, some days no. He's working on it. He mulls over the question for a few moments then says, "I'll love whoever you love and treats you right, soulmate or not." He hesitates, then adds, "And who knows, maybe the person you really want to be with isn't your soulmate at all maybe..." He stops. It sounds stupid. He knows it sounds stupid. Especially to Dave. And part of him doesn't _want_ to convince Dave to look for someone else. Part of him just wants Dave all to himself.

"Just do what makes you happy, and I'll be happy," he finishes.

Yeah, maybe he doesn't like Dave's soulmate all that much.

Dave waits for Dirk to answer, feeling his heart pick up from nerves.

 _Soulmate or not_ , huh? Does Dirk not believe in soulmates?

The answer _does_ reassure Dave, he's not going to lie, but... it also raises a new question.

He tilts his head back so he can look more at Dirk, his vision upside-down from being on his back.

Dirk's expression is _weird_. Dave can't decipher it properly due to being upside-down, but there's a weird little pinch between between his brows, a twist to his mouth.

"Dirk..." Dave starts, but trails off. He doesn't know anything about Dirk's mark. He doesn't know if Dirk even _has_ one. Not everyone does, after all.

"Dirk, do you... not like soulmates?" Dave asks hesitantly.

Ah, shit. The last thing Dirk wants is for Dave to think he like... disapproves of soulmates, something Dave is really into. And he doesn't, really. He doesn't. He loves his soulmate so fucking much. His soulmate is just... his brother.

His brother who deserves better. Who deserves _normal_.

He tries to laugh off the question. "Like ain't got nothin' to do with it. Just want to make sure you're happy, and that doesn't gotta rely on someone the universe or whatever picked out for you. Do what's best for _you_ , Davey. Don't worry about fate or my approval or any other bullshit."

 _Davey_. He's letting his sentimentality peek through a bit too much.

Part of him just wants to scream that the universe fucked up and he needs to make his own choices, but there's no way he could explain it to Dave that wouldn't reveal what he's fought so hard to keep hidden.

Dave listens to Dirk's answer and... it's definitely a deflection. A non-answer, as Dirk usually likes to call them. The affectionate name makes his belly warm, but the rest of it... Dave gets the sentiment behind it, but it still feels... hollow.

He shifts to look at the ceiling for a moment.

"It's okay if you don't like soulmates." Dave says, even as his heart hurts at the idea. "I mean, there are plenty of cases out there where soulmates don't work out, right? That's just gotta be proof that it's not a 100% system. The universe isn't always correct."

He doesn't know who he's trying to convince- Dirk, that it's okay to not like them, or Dave, that it's okay if his soulmate ends up being someone horrible that Dirk hates.

He tilts his head up again to look at Dirk. "Dirk..." He chews on his lip for a moment. "Do you... have a soulmate?" _Did something happen with them?_

He was making Dave miserable. This is _not_ what he wanted, even if he _does_ want Dave to look for someone besides his soulmate. He nods along to Dave's statement about the universe not always being correct. That was sure as fuck true.

He freezes at the last question. It was inevitable and Dirk was surprised it hadn't come up before now.

Lie.

Lie.

Just say anything to appease Dave!

He thumbs over the back of his right hand with his left without thinking and regrets the maneuver.

He tries to smile down at his brother, who never perfected the Strider poker face and was broadcasting his worry loud and clear.

"It doesn't matter. I got you to worry about. Don't need to be thinkin' about anyone else."

He still can't lie to Dave, but he can talk his way around shit, even if he's sure Dave won't be satisfied with the answer. Maybe he'll at least drop it.

"Get your movie set up. Food should be here any minute."

Dave catches the motion but doesn't say anything, frowning slightly. He sighs a bit, kicking his legs where they dangle off the edge of the couch arm.

"Okay, okay." He says, giving Dirk a little grin back, and sliding around to drop his feet onto the floor, reaching for the TV remote.

"Dirk." Dave can't resist adding. "You know I just want you to be happy, right? I don't wanna upset you with all the... soulmate talk" He doesn't look at Dirk as he says it, moving through the menus, but he's watching Dirk out of the corner of his eye.

Dirk's smile turns genuine as Dave says that. Dave wanting _him_ to be happy when Dirk only wants Dave to be happy. Quite the ouroboros of sweet brotherly love.

Okay. Phrasing. Moving along!

"Talk your heart out, dude. Hearing you yammer away about shit you're into is the favorite part of my day, soulmates included."

The doorbell rings and Dirk gets up and gets the door, tipping the delivery guy in cash and plopping the bag of food down on the coffee table, then digging out his order.

"Alright. What shitty movie you got for me tonight?" he asks as he relaxes back into the couch with his food.

Dirk gets up to get their food and Dave lets himself grin sappily while Dirk is out of sight. His brother is the _best_. He schools his expression back into something a little more normal as Dirk returns.

"The horrible, terrible movie of the night is.... R.O.T.R." Dave declares, queueing it up.

Honestly, he loves this. Loves watching absolutely terrible movies and tearing them to shreds with Dirk. It's the most reliable way to get him to laugh.

Dirk had never heard of the movie, but man was he in for a treat. Terrible robot cop gone rogue. What more could he want?

He laughs with Dave at all the horribly delivered dialog and other gems of the movie, ripping into it so much he couldn't even _hear_ some of said dialog, and it honestly made him feel... light. Good. It was nice to be able to just relax with Dave. Without Bro. Without soulmates. Without any of it.

Just him and Dave against the world, he always joked. And he felt it was true.

When the movie was over, Dirk lets out a few more stray snorts, then shoves Dave playfully on the arm. "You always pick the worst fucking movies.

He looks at the clock. It wasn't even seven yet. They still had a couple hours before Dave needed to go to bed. They could hang out more, unless...

"You got homework, dude?"

Fuck, the movie was _just_ as bad as Dave had hoped- no, it had been _worse_. Tearing it to shreds was almost as fun as watching Dirk do it.

"You know it, Dirk." Dave smirks at him. "You _love_ it." He knows for a fact that Dirk enjoys it as much as he does.

At the question though, he waffles.

"Mmmmmabye. An assignment or two. But they're not due until Friday." Seeing as it's Wednesday, he could put it off until tomorrow. He'll do his math homework on the bus, anyway.

It's not like he hasn't been doing _that_ for years, anyway. His math teacher this year is one scary bitch and Dave is not going to cross her by forgetting to turn his daily math homework in.

Dirk eyes him, but he's not so far removed from high school that he can get away with needling Dave to do homework.

"Alright, as long as you get it all done in time," he says. "But I get to pick the movie this time."

He puts on Promare and ignores Dave's snort, teasing him for putting on an anime. It's a good movie, and Dirk will stand by that, even if he _was_ only first interested because it was anime.

But soon enough, the movie was over, and he could tell Dave was struggling to hide his yawns, so Dirk said, "Time for bed, dude," and begins clearing the food and trash from the table, sticking the leftovers in the fridge.

As much as he wanted to stay up all night with his little brother, they both had obligations during the week. Even if Dirk's _was_ less structured. Still, ending hang out time was always something he dreaded. More time alone to think. Just what he needed.

Dave laughs a little as Dirk puts on Promare, because Dirk never fails to pick an anime movie. It's good though, so like, Dave doesn't give him shit for the picking. Fuck the rich and all that, blah blah the rich should not be allowed to save themselves and condemn the planet in a time of ecological crisis, yadda yadda.

Good shit.

He finds his energy dying down in the second half, though, watching sleepily as Galo and Lio sync up to save everything- and Dave wonders absent-mindedly if they're soulmates. Or if they're part of the trope where someone doesn't _need_ their soulmate to find someone and be happy with them.

He's fine with it either way, honestly.

But Dirk is ushering him off to bed, so Dave just rises to his feet and yawns and "goodnight, dude" and heads off to fall asleep.

His dream that night is Promare-themed, with Dirk struggling so hard to stay together in the heart of the Prometheus ending and Dave struggling to save him, only for Dave to have to kiss him back to life.

When he wakes in the morning, though, he doesn't remember it at all.

Dirk didn't sleep well that night, his dreams plagued by red crows pecking at him no matter how he tried to get away. Real subtle, subconscious. Dave's questions must have really gotten to him.

He wakes up and falls into the usual routine: wash up in the bathroom, splashing away the dress of his dreams and trying not to obsess over his mark, knock on Dave's door to wake him up, and scrounge together something for breakfast. Sometimes they have eggs and bacon, like they do this week, sometimes Dirk doesn't get as many commissions so they just have some knock off brand cereal.

Today would have the added shopping trip, once Dave was off to school. He got some more commissions in his email this morning and needed to run out for more parts. This also meant he'd probably be busy in the evening, so he's glad he hung out with Dave last night when he had the chance.

He hisses as he is brought back to the present by bacon grease snapping on his arm. It was stupid to let himself get distracted while cooking, but all he can think about is how much he enjoyed last night, even if he had to sidestep some questions. Even if it hurt to think too hard about. He shakes his head and plates up the food and waits for Dave.

It's a tossup, really, if it'll have to be Dirk that wakes Dave or the smell of food.

This morning, it turns out to be food, moreso than Dirk. So Dave drags himself out of bed, washes up, and goes to his backpack first to rifle through it, putting his math homework that he needs to do on the bus at the top.

Hey, he might be a mess, but he has a _system_. It works. Usually.

That done, he yawns and slinks over to the table. "Morning, Dirk." He says. "What're you up to today?" Easy routine. It's nice.

Must nicer than their old routine, anyway.

Dirk almost smiles at his brother as he comes into the kitchen. It's been getting easier, the longer he's away from Bro, but it's still a struggle, like someone's going to punish him for being too sincere, like his body isn't used to it.

"Mornin', Dave. Gotta do some shopping today then get to work on some more involved commissions today. Gunna be some multi-day projects, I think."

That's code for "so you'll be fending for yourself for food tonight and maybe tomorrow" which was fine since they had plenty of leftovers.

They both knew how one track Dirk could get when he was working on something, so he tried to give Dave a heads up when it would be more involved like this, especially since Dave wasn't allowed to even peek in his room when he was working on computers. Partially to avoid any accidents, partially because he kept his gloves off when he worked.

Dave nods a little bit in understanding. Dirk works hard- sometimes too hard, in Dave's opinion, which can end up with him spending days holed up in his room. Dave's used to it at this point- he loves spending time with his brother but he gets that Dirk needs his space and needs to work uninterrupted.

It still makes him pout, a little, that hes not allowed to hang out with Dirk while he's working, but- yeah. He gets it.

'Sides hes got a lot of- ugh- _homework_ to do tonight and he probably should do it.

"Hearing you loud and clear." Dave says. "Hey, since you're going shopping, could you grab me a new notebook? My English one is almost used up."

He appreciates Dave being so understanding. It probably helps that he has friends at school, so he doesn't just have to rely on his brother for all of his social interaction.

How pathetic would that be.

"One notebook, check," Dirk says. "I'll leave it out on the table for when you get home."

Dirk then finishes his breakfast in a few big bites and chugs down his orange juice, then rinses the dishes and puts them in the sink. "Now I hate to not see you out proper, but I gotta take inventory of what I have so I don't forget to pick anything up."

He stands next to Dave awkwardly for a second, unsure of whether he should initiate a hug, but the voice in the back of his head constantly reminding him he shouldn't get too close to Dave, that it's best for Dave that he doesn't, wins out and he heads into his room, closing the door behind him with one last little wave goodbye.

"Thanks, Dirk." Dave says with a little grin. "See you whenever you come out of your cave." He teases Dirk a little bit as he washes up.

Dirk dawdles for a moment next to Dave and Dave waits with baited breath to see if it's a hug morning or not- but it's not, so Dave just waves back.

Once Dirk's in his room Dave gives a disappointed little sigh, but takes his bag and leaves for school.

Which ends up. Being a complete shitshow because of his _history_ teacher of all people. Yeah, she's a complete _bitch_. Dave got into a full ass argument with her in front of his friends, the class, and God himself because she wouldn't accept his permission slip for an upcoming field trip because it's _Dirk's_ signature and not fucking _Bro's_.

What a colossal _mega bitch_.

So Dave comes home with a furious shake in his hands, a permission slip with Dirk's signature crossed out on it, and a note for Bro telling him to 'parent his kids better and don't let them get away with this nonsense'.

Dave really doesn't want to cry. It's so fucking uncool that probably even _Dirk_ would be disappointed in him. But right now, he really, really needs his brother.

So, despite the fact that he _knows he's not supposed to_ , he wipes at his nose and opens Dirk's door, papers clutched in hand.

"Hey, Dirk?" He says, hating the immediate, watery sound of his voice.

Dirk is startled by his brother's voice and curses under his breath as he slips his gloves on, glad he kept the room dark enough except for lights on the parts he was working on that there was no way Dave could have seen his hand. Right? Dave doesn't immediately run in horror, so he takes that as a sign he's right and simply chastises himself for not paying better attention. He didn't even hear the door open! This could have been bad.

He walks over to the door, trying not to dwell on what could have been a terrible slip up, and says, "You know you're not supposed to be in here, dude," then catches sight of Dave's blotchy red face and sighs as he ushers him out of the room and to the couch.

Dirk sits next to Dave and arm up on the back of the couch, leaving room for Dave to lean in if he wants, and says, "What's going on my man?"

Dave's gaze is attracted to Dirks sudden motion, his pulling of the glo-

of the.

the gloves.

The gloves sliding over.

over.

Dave's heart stops. No. He must have been... must have been seeing things. There's no way he saw what he thought he saw. His brain must be playing tricks on him. He sways slightly as Dirk comes over, nodding a little at Dirk's statement.

He can't _process_ this. He can't even think. His heart is pounding as Dirk gently ushers him over to the couch.

Dirk sits next to him, arm outstretched in an open invitation to press up against him. Regardless of what Dave saw- what he _might_ have seen, what he _thinks_ he saw- he's not going to turn down the offer. He scoots over to press against Dirk's side.

Later. _Later_. He can think about it later when Dirk isn't sitting- when Dirk. Who- who might be-

 _No_. Later. Laterlater.

Dave swallows thickly and holds out the papers. "U-um." Fuck. "Ms. Hill- my, um- history teacher. She won't take my permission slip unless. It's _Bro_ that signs it." He wipes his nose with the back of his hand.

Dirk's heart clenches at Dave's stuttering. He must really be looking forward to this field trip.

"What a piece of shit," he says as he grabs the paper and looks it over, frowning at the written note. "Good thing for us, I know how to forge his signature, since he never signed a permission slip a day in his life. I'll sign it and write my own note back. Bro wouldn't put up with this shit, either."

He sets the paper on the table and wraps his arm around Dave, rubbing his back soothingly. "Don't let that asshole get to you, dude. I'll take care of it. Always."

He hates seeing Dave so upset. He wishes he could stomp up to the school and scream at the teacher, but he knows that wouldn't do any good.

"Want to put in a movie or something?" Dirk offers. Anything to help.

Dave nods a little at Dirk's reassurances, wiping his face. God, he feels stupid. Of course Dirk would help make it better. His- _older brother_ , always reliable and dependable and

his hand is so

warm

on Dave's back.

Dave becomes hyper-aware of the contact, a little shiver running through him as he feels the press and heat of Dirk's thigh against his.

Focus. _Focus_.

"Thanks, Dirk." Dave says. "I. Um, I have a lot of- homework." Not a lie, but- Dave's probably not going to get any done. "Thanks, though." He wipes his face with a sniffle.

Dirk looks down at him worriedly. Dave basically never passes up time to hang out, something he had taken for granted until that moment. But Dave is 16 now, he doesn't need his brother to wipe away his tears. And Dirk has his own work to focus on anyway. Not to mention, shouldn't Dirk be _encouraging_ more separation? This was for the best.

"Okay," Dirk says, giving him one last pat on the back before removing his arm so Dave could leave. "Let me know if you need anything else. Just.. knock first." He laughs but it feels forced. Maybe he'll move his set up so even if Dave bursts in there's no chance he would see his hand.

Dave nods again. "Um- yeah. I will." He offers Dirk a weak smile. Dirk has his gloves off in his room. Is that why- no. Stop. Wait.

"Sorry." Dave gets up to his feet. "I didn't mean to- um." He sniffles again. "Startle you. I hope your commissions- still alright." He slinks off to his bedroom, barely remembering to grab his backpack on the way.

Dirk frowns at Dave's retreating back then closed door. Was he being too harsh? It was for Dave's own good, but maybe there was a better way he could have said it.

Dirk tries to shake his worry away as he goes back to his room. If there's something wrong, Dave will talk to him. He always does. For now, Dirk has to focus on getting his work done and putting food on the table.

Maybe he'll focus on getting a lot of it done tonight so he'll be free to hang out with Dave tomorrow and, well, however long he'll be home before he goes over to John's. He forgot to ask. He should probably be better about that.

Either way.

He needs to make sure he can be there for Dave as much as he needs until he stops... Needing him anymore.

That hurts to think about, but Dirk has to remind himself that one day Dave will be gone, he'll find someone to be with, he'll accept he can't find his soulmate and that will be that.

And Dirk will be alone.

Might as well get used to it.

He gets back to work.

Dave closes his door and slumps against it, his bag dropping to the floor. He stares blankly at his bed, his chest tight.

He hadn’t imagined it. He hadn’t seen something different- soulmarks are _unique_. Sometimes similarities can be found, but- there are no two soulmarks that are identical unless _the people are soulmates._

Dave feels like he can’t breathe. He’s trying to lie to himself, trying to pretend, but he saw the mark. He _saw_ it. On the back of Dirk’s hand, surrounded by violet flowers, the bird and the sword.

He wants to scream. He wants to rage and cry and storm into Dirk’s room and grab him by the shoulders and shake him and shout _you utter bastard why didn’t you_ ** _tell_** _me_. Has Dirk been getting amusement from it this whole time? Watching Dave obsess over and get excited for his soulmate?

Dave feels sick for a moment until he can wrestle himself back under control. No. No, Dirk isn’t like that. Dirk _loves_ him. Dirk’s always looked out for Dave, always taken care of him and protected him from the worst of Bro’s-

 _Bro_. Did Bro know? He _must_ have, right? He gave Dirk the gloves, was he constantly watching Dirk like a hawk? Dave abruptly remembers multiple instances where he and Dirk were roughing around, just having fun and then Bro showed up and Dirk went quiet and shut off and pulled away.

Dave staggers over to his bed and collapses onto it. _Dirk is his soulmate_. His _brother_ , who he _loves_ \- he loves Dirk so much- why did Dirk never tell him? Why why whywhywhywhy? Why? Why?

Is Dirk _ashamed_? Of himself? Of _Dave_? Of the idea of soulmates? Dave squeezes his eyes shut against the hot burn of new tears as they spill over his cheeks. He turns to press his face into the pillow to muffle a sob.

Dirk. _Dirk is his soulmate and never said anything_. Dave doesn’t know what to do, what to say- Dirk clearly doesn’t want Dave to _know_ , he’s always wearing his gloves and being so careful with his touch-

Is Dirk disgusted by him? By their marks? He protected him from Bro, but was that just because they’re brothers? Does Dirk actually hate him, hate their soulmarks?

A fearful pang shoots through Dave’s heart and he shoots upright, a wrecked noise tearing from his mouth and he shoves his fist against his mouth to muffle himself. _What if Dirk kicks him out when Dave turns 18?_ What if he’s just letting Dave live here out of familial obligation but he’s actually disgusted with Dave? Dave curls forwards onto the bed, pressing his forehead to the sheets, eyes wide as he stares at nothing, shaking, with tears pouring down his face.

Dirk’s always so reluctant to touch him. Dirk doesn’t want anything to do with soulmates. The other day he was encouraging Dave to just _find someone who makes him happy-_ because _Dirk_ is his soulmate and Dirk will never love him like _that_ , like soulmates are supposed to, never love him truly because he’s _disgusted_ by Dave and Dave needs to keep this under wraps needs to stop caring about soulmates needs to let it go and not talk about them anymore because if he pushes it it’ll just _remind Dirk that they’re soulmates_ and remind Dirk how disgusting Dave is and that he should get rid of Dave and Dave can’t fucking handle that, he can’t handle losing Dirk.

Dave reaches out, grabs the pillow, and curls around it, burying his face into it again.

He’ll get through this. He will. He’ll drop everything about soulmates. He’ll let it go so that Dirk doesn’t have to have their disgusting connection shoved in his face. He’ll wear higher collared shirts so Dirk doesn’t even have to see their marks. He’ll- he’ll find someone to date.

Dave gives another sob into the pillow.

He can’t lose Dirk. He _can’t_. He has to give up on his soulmate because _his soulmate is Dirk_ and if he doesn’t give up on him he’ll lose him completely and Dave doesn’t want to lose him- he’ll stop responding to Dirk’s clearly forced touches, he’ll give Dirk the space he clearly wants, he’ll-

Dave trembles. He can’t lie to himself. He can’t.

Dave’s a disgusting brother. He’s filthy and depraved and horrible because he doesn’t _want_ anyone else.

He wants _his brother_. He wants his brother. He wants his soulmate, his brother, and he doesn’t want anyone else.

Just remembering the hand on his back makes his belly go hot, even as he gives another weak sob.

Dave _wants_ Dirk and there’s no one else he could try and substitute for him. It wouldn’t be fair. To him _or_ to the other person.

Dave sniffles a little, squeezing his eyes shut as he shamefully reaches down to grab the tent in his pants.

Dirk. _Dirk_. It’s not fair. It’s _not fair_. Dave wants him so bad. He presses his face into his pillow, rubbing over his clothed dick, imagining that it’s Dirk’s hand, that the pillow in his arms is Dirk.

God. He’s pathetic. Sobbing and jerking off all because his brother thinks he’s disgusting because they’re soulmates.

He imagines Dirk pushing him over to his back and rolls over, keeping his eyes screwed shut and picturing him hovering over Dave.

_ ’What’s this? My disgusting little brother, jerking off to the idea of  _ **_ me _ ** _ , loving  _ **_ him _ ** _? You can’t be serious.’  _

He grips himself tighter as he imagines Dirk’s hand coming down and squeezing over Dave’s cock.

 _’You’re so hard at the idea, Davey. You degenerate._ ’

Dave bites his lip with a little whimper. This is what Dirk would give him. If he’ll get anything from Dirk, it’ll be this- rough and debasing and mean as Dirk comments how disgusting Dave is, how terrible and horrific and nasty the whole situation is but at least Dirk can gt _something_ useful out of the situation- an easy fuck. Dave’s such a dumb slut for his soulmate that he’ll do anything Dirk tells him to.

Dave cums on a shuddering sob into his held pillow, Dirk’s voice lingering in his ears. _’If you won’t be_ ** _respectable_** _, you can at least be_ ** _useful’_**

Dave fumbles for the tissues to clean himself up. Between crying and jerking off, he can’t deny that he does feel a little bit better.

But… Dirk is still his soulmate. And Dave is still disgusting for wanting him.

Dave stares blankly at the ceiling.

He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t ask Dirk for help when the problem _involves Dirk._

Dave is trapped. He’s stuck, with no way out. He has to give up on his soulmate or lose his soulmate forever.

In what world is that _fair_?

Dave doesn’t get any homework done. In fact, he barely gets anything done except for mildlessly scrolling through social media and feeling his heart ache with every post he sees about soulmates until he goes into the tag to hurt himself on purpose. He’s disgusting, the universe decided it.

Dave doesn’t get a happy ending. He doesn’t get a perfect lifestyle with his soulmate.

No, what he gets is shame in the dark and a brother who would rather lock himself away instead of talk to Dave and the realization that he’ll probably be kicked out at 18.

Dave cries himself to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Dave's author is [@LPSunnyBunny](http://www.twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!
> 
> Dirk/John's author is [@Ov3rAnd0ut](https://twitter.com/Ov3rAnd0ut)!


End file.
